Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Food is good
Check out my girl friend's blog. It's all about recipes and food and stuff. http://kandislovesfood.blogspot.com/
Strange sideways bicycle
Quick! Somebody make a penny farthing like this to give to all the hipsters!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
The madam opened the brothel door in Elko County, Nevada, and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
"May I help you sir?" she asked.
"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No, I must see Valerie," he replied.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $10,000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so very expensive. There were no discounts and the price was still $10,000.
The gentleman did not blink an eye. Again, he pulled out a wad of cash, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night, the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, maybe a record in the history of brothels in Nevada, which date back into the early 1800's. But without hesitation, he paid Valerie the ten grand and off they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"
The man replied, "Billings, Montana."
"Really," she said. "I have family in Billings."
"I know," the man said. "I regret to tell you, but your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $30,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story… Three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
"May I help you sir?" she asked.
"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No, I must see Valerie," he replied.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $10,000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so very expensive. There were no discounts and the price was still $10,000.
The gentleman did not blink an eye. Again, he pulled out a wad of cash, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night, the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, maybe a record in the history of brothels in Nevada, which date back into the early 1800's. But without hesitation, he paid Valerie the ten grand and off they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"
The man replied, "Billings, Montana."
"Really," she said. "I have family in Billings."
"I know," the man said. "I regret to tell you, but your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $30,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story… Three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
Stupid goalkeeper
I was all like المغرب الفاسي - الجيش الملكي ضربة جزاء غريبة
Then I was like يضحك بصوت ع
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
LINKS!
- “I Heart Boobies” breast cancer bracelet gets teen suspended from high school.
- Remember all those people arrested at Toronto's G20 summit? Two of them are suing the city of Toronto for $115,000,000.
- This is for anyone you want to say thank you to in an annoying way.
- Double Rainbow guy gets a Microsoft gig.
- Judge removes Juror over Facebook post. She's fined $250 and must write an essay.
- The correct way to listen to Nickelback.
- The crap we put up with getting off and on the airplane.
- Montana teen accidentally texts sheriff to buy marijuana.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Important news everyone!
Conan O'brien announced the title of his new show!
Also: did you read the title in Professor Farnsworth's voice?
New Cee Lo Green Video
Cee Lo Green follows up his viral prevideo with the actual video. The single drops October 4th; The Lady Killer hits December 7th.
If this goes down you can watch it here.
Monday, August 30, 2010
MOAR LINKS
- Looking at girls in public? Through binoculars? Sorry, you're going to jail!
- Gallery of Etch A Sketch art.
- U. of Florida adds Starcraft Studies. In the same vein, Florida is adding "Strategies in Tic-Tac-Toe" so their football players can pass academic eligibility.
- Well that didn't end up as expected...
- Mexico fires 3,200 (9%) of its federal police.
- Mushroom hunt claims 18 lives. Pro tip: This =/= This
- Soon plenty of folks are gonna be hailing from the Google Projects!
- Haha! Take that hipsters!
- This guy is a real beastmaster.
- If Cadbury merges with Nestle (pic)
Afternoon LINKS
- 10 things to know about the female brain.
- 15 cute animals that will cause you horrible harm.
- 10 most horrifying nerd scarification tattoos
- Woman sues Walt Disney Company after being molested by Donald Duck.
- Haiku Quest - An RPG featuring Haiku Poetry and Christopher Walken
- Sink made of recycled tires.
- Wendy's Cook: I Pulled Knife On Co-Worker For Serving Bad Bacon
Dancing Dog!
If you have a better video of a Golden Retriever dancing the Merengue, I'd like to see it
NEWS
- Man robs arby's with a samurai sword. It's increasingly becoming the weapon of choice.
- Say goodbye to the big stack of paper you old timers call "Dictionaries".
- 20 smartest cities in America.
- Drunk baboons ravage suburbia.
- PPV movies coming to Youtube.
- Facebook is at it again.
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